Fingers and toes crossed

The tests I did after our first consultation at the private fertility clinic weren’t good news. I was assuming I’d be put into the borderline category (lower fertility but still some time left) which is the only category they advise IVF for. But I was unprepared for the test results to be so low.

Bloody hell. I’d spent the months following my miscarriage in December getting the courage and a bit more strength to face the possibility of IVF, and now that choice had been taken from me.

The results also surprised the consultant, mainly based on the fact that I’d been pregnant only a few months before and my cycle still being very regular. It just doesn’t add up.

The suggested course of action was to try IUI again. Since I’ve had a ‘successful’ IUI, when the percentage of success is very low (something like 10%), we should feel more positively that it will work again. So I started my fourth double course of Clomid, taking it at night again to hopefully avoid any side effects.

The difference between doing IUI privately as opposed to the NHS is that the weekend is exactly the same as a weekday and the timing of the procedure is more precise, rather than when they have time to do it. I had a scan on Friday to see how things were progressing. I had another scan on Saturday and again on Sunday. While it was a bit annoying going back and forth every day, I felt very taken care of and liked the attention to detail.

Sunday I had my shot of Pregnyl (which is the dried urine of pregnant women… I’ll give you a moment to contemplate that…) which triggers ovulation approximately 36 hours later. The other times Roberto injected me which let me be a complete baby, although he is fabulous at giving injections. This time I had to be brave as the stinging solution entered my leg.

We had the procedure on Monday. It’s a strange experience sitting in the waiting room with other couples waiting to do the same thing, watching men being called and not wanting to know what they’re about to do, wondering why everyone else seems to look incredibly relaxed as if they’re only waiting to board a flight and wondering if they’re thinking the same thing about me.

I AM feeling very positive, even if I’m also feeling quite impatient for the two weeks to pass. My counsellor suggested not only doing things that help me relax over the next fortnight, but also some fun things, and not to put life on hold as we wait.

So I’m enjoying life and relaxing as I’m keeping my fingers and toes and legs and arms crossed.


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