Not having it all

“It’s not easy. They make women believe that we can have children just like men do until a certain age. That’s not true. Sometimes when I see a woman that’s 35 years old and she thinks she has time? I’m surprised.It’s something that comes from the magazines, you know.” Carla Bruni (interview by Anna Botting, Sky News)

I copied down this quote quite a while ago because her words echoed my thoughts almost perfectly. And it made me wonder why we don’t hear more women saying this.

I was brought up believing that I could do anything I put my mind to, and my generation was probably the first who believed that as women we could do everything we wanted. We can have fabulous careers, we can be independent, we can have children and we can do all of these things together. The world is ours.

But as I got older I started to question this. I recently started asking some of my female friends to see if it was just me, but it’s not. We’ve realised we can’t have it all.

Roberto pointed out a few weeks ago how many people we know of who’ve had difficulty in getting pregnant, in order to say that having a baby isn’t always that easy for couples in general. But I had to draw his attention to the fact that all of these women are in their late thirties or older. The longer we wait, the harder it is and that’s just nature unfortunately.

It’s easy to say to a woman not to wait too long if she wants children, but it’s also too easy for us to believe that we can keep age at bay (we’re surrounded by advertising that reinforces this) and fit everything we want to achieve into our lives when we want to. But life doesn’t always give us what we want or what we believe we’re entitled to.

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