Monthly Archives: July 2010


Sometimes love is for a moment.

Sometimes love is for a lifetime.

Sometimes a moment is a lifetime.

~ Author Unknown


Missing Matt

Two years ago I got the most horrible phone call. My sister Viv called to say her eldest child had died. Matt had a motorcycle accident and died before anyone got a chance to say goodbye.

I remember feeling so angry with the world. It wasn’t fair that my sister, who had helped ease my pain of being a grieving mother, also had to suffer the indescribable pain of losing her child. I thought the pain I had to endure should well and truly be enough.

Matt was just a few months from turning 22; he had his whole life ahead of him, and so many dreams and ambitions to fulfil. There’s no way you can make sense of a life cut so short.

The days and weeks following his death I thought a lot about the memories I had of him as a child. There were so many and all of them made me smile thinking about how fabulous and loving he was, and so full of life. I remembered him as a toddler watching Mr Bean for the first time and laughing so much, him and his eldest sister watching me apply makeup and wanting to know why on earth I was putting that stuff on my face, and how he devoured the largest books on war planes (his passion from an early age), the ‘adult’ books seemingly too big for his childish hands.

Matt had grown into an amazing, joyful and loving young man. He had a wonderfully close relationship with his mother (she remembered the last time they had cross words was about four years ago), and was the perfect and adored brother of his four sisters.

When Roberto and I went to Australia for our honeymoon, my sister, nieces and another niece squeezed into a car and drove nine hours to see us for a few days. After they arrived, I talked on the phone to Matt who kept apologising for not making the long journey on his motorbike, which he originally had planned to do. Just the fact that he considered it was enough for me.

Matt had a great positive outlook on life, he never said a bad word about anyone, and was surrounded by so many people who loved him very much. It wasn’t until after he died that his mum and sisters realised how much of an impact he had on other people’s lives.

On his Myspace page he wrote “I live for my friends and family”. I often remind myself of how he lived his life and try to follow his example. He may have only been 21, but he understood the true value of living.

Courageous Wyatt

Wyatt Perseke, who I wrote about in a previous blog post, is an amazingly courageous boy with an equally courageous family.

He has just won the “Be a fan of courage” award. To give back to the Courage Centre and other organisations who sponsor the award, Wyatt, his siblings Whitney and Waylon, and his parents Lori and Danny are taking part in the Courage Centre’s 5k Walk, Run, Stroll in Minnesota on Saturday July 31st. If you can’t join them, why not sponsor them with a small donation?

Read more about Wyatt’s award (and also his recent trip to Dusseldorf for stem cell treatment) on his blog.

Support Wyatt and his family on their 5k Walk, Run, Stroll.

Out-of-hours babies at higher risk of dying

An analysis of one than one million Scottish births over the last twenty years has found that babies born at night or at the weekend were more at risk of dying. The risk was a third higher than for those babies born during normal working hours. Most of the babies who died, died from a lack of oxygen.

As Janet Scott from the charity Sands said, “A baby’s life should not rest on whether or not they are born in office hours.”

Read the BBC article…

Another year older

I’m now no longer in my thirties. Roberto did all he could yesterday to pamper and spoil me and take my mind off the fact. Trying to cope with turning thirty doesn’t feel that long ago, yet a decade has since passed.

It’s also been difficult not to think about the pregnancy I miscarried last year. The due date was my birthday and, at the time, I thought it would be the most perfect birthday present I could have. I thought turning forty maybe wouldn’t feel so bad if I was cuddling (or about to) a new baby in my arms.

Life begins at forty – so all my forty-year-old friends say. I’m taking that to mean not to look back on my past years with regrets or as little sorrow as possible, but focus on a hopeful future. My life really does need to start again with me feeling positive and happy, and there’s no better time to do it.

Here’s to all you other forty-somethings out there!

Inductions leading to more c-sections

Just been reading a great post by my blogging friend Kelly, referring to a recent Reuter’s article.

The article talks about a U.S. study, published in the Obstetrics & Gynecology journal, of almost 8,000 first-time mothers. The findings showed that those who had a labour induction were twice as likely to have to have a caesarian. The number who were induced was quite shocking too (44%), forty percent of which were elective (difficult to believe).

It’s fundamental that every mother-to-be has all the information they need to make an educated decision as to how they give birth, not just assume her carers have her best interests at heart. If more of us took charge, maybe there would be less unnecessary inductions and caesarians.

The sweet hand of fate

This was such an adorable and romantic story my husband showed me (the article is in Italian), that I wanted to share it with you.

Just a few days before Alex and Donna Voutisinas got married, he was looking through her family photograph album. In one photo, taken twenty years before, he saw a very young Donna at Disney World with her two brothers.

When his eyes drifted to the background of the shot, he recognised someone else in the photograph, someone who had just been passing by as the photo was taken. It was his father! His father was pushing a pram. Alex was inside the pram!

What an amazing coincidence. They were living in two different states (Florida and Canada) at the time and wouldn’t have had any idea that they were so close to the person they would later fall in love with and marry. Certainly a photograph they will no doubt treasure.