Feel no guilt in laughter,
For they know how much you care.
Feel no sorrow in a smile
That they’re not here to share.
You cannot grieve forever–
They would not want you to.
They’d hope that you would carry on
The way you always do.
So talk about the good times
And the ways you showed you cared,
The days you spent together,
All the happiness you shared.
Let memories surround you;
A word someone may say
Will suddenly recapture
A time, an hour, a day,
That brings them back as clearly
As though they were still here,
And fills you with the feelings
That they are always near.
For if you keep those moments,
You will never be apart,
And they will live forever….
Locked safe within your heart.
~ Author unknown
Yesterday, the 11th of February 2014, should have been Sofia’s 6th birthday. Six… I struggle to believe that I have been a grieving mother for six years. I can’t but help look at other little six-year-old girls and wonder…
This was the first year I woke up with my grief alone (hubby being away on a work trip). Every year when January is over and February is staring straight at me I have no idea how I’ll be.
Ironically it’s the days I think I’m doing ok that I then realise I’m getting upset about anything and everything very quickly.
When hubby called me mid-morning to see how I was, I was right in the middle of crying and I’d been crying on and off all morning. I’ve definitely cried an ocean, not just a river, over the years.
Hubby and I usually struggle to say comforting words to each other (that is one of the horrible sides of grieving together), and usually he says words to the effect of ‘don’t cry’ before correcting himself (wouldn’t we all prefer if nobody cried?). Yesterday though he said he wanted to cry and that he feared if there was ever a year which we didn’t cry for Sofia’s birthday then it would be like we’d forgotten her.
Let the memories of your loved one surround you. Allow those memories to stir up any emotions, whether laughter, sadness, peace or grief. Be kind to yourself and let yourself mourn in the way you need to. Be kind to others who are grieving and let them mourn in the way they need to.
Happy sixth birthday my darling x