About Me

Where are the clowns?
There ought to be clowns…

(‘Send in the Clowns’ from ‘A Little Night Music’ by Stephen Sondheim)

My favourite photo of me and Sofia

The 11th February 2008 was the day my life changed forever. The day before I lived a charmed life. Married to the most loving and perfect man for me, someone I could have only dreamed of finding, and my long-awaited desire to become a mother was about to be fulfilled. I was going to have my dream of a happy and normal family. MY family…

This blog may be a little self-indulgent, but it’s helping me take one day at a time. I’m hoping that with each passing day I remember Sofia with more and more love, and less and less sadness.

 These posts will tell you Sofia’s story:

Two years ago

The day my daughter died

Fighting an uphill battle

In the news

 Anne x

 

Update August 2014: While my need to blog here has lessened over time, I still occasionally post my thoughts. If you’d like more regular updates you can follow my other blog, The Gingerbread Mum where I mainly post easy and healthy recipes (with some cute photos of my rainbow baby big boy Nicholas thrown in). I also write professionally and advise people on writing as well as social media; you can contact me at my writing consultancy Editing Angel Ltd (info@editingangel.com).

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6 responses to “About Me

  1. I’d like to start this comment with Dear X, but I can’t find your name on the site so forgive the blunt introduction.

    I am not a mother so I cannot begin to imagine how you must have suffered losing Sofia, but I do know that massage can be very helpful in coping with bereavement because grief is held in the body as much as in the mind.

    I am a massage therapist with a clinic in London Bridge and I specialise in working with people who have PTSD (I am the only massage therapist in the country to be registered with the UK Register of Trauma Specialists). I get a daily summary of internet postings about PTSD which is how I came to find your blog. I see that you are based in London so please have a look at my website and if you think I can help do get in touch.

    With best wishes,

    Kimberley

    • Dear Kimberley,

      Thank you for visiting my blog and taking the time to leave a comment.

      I guess it’s easy to think of massage as merely something to pamper ourselves, when in fact it’s a therapy. I shall definitely take a look at your website.

      Anne

  2. Dear Anne,

    You’re absolutely right! Massage is often marketed as an indulgent treat, but it carries all sorts of psychological benefits which are usually overlooked. In fact, it is one of the few complementary therapies that has credible scientific evidence to support its use in alleviating the symptoms of depression and anxiety. For my own part, I think there is something magical about the non-verbal communication of touch which makes it so powerful, though I’d hasten to add that it’s about the quality of the touch rather than the technique per se so finding a therapist you connect with is really important.

    Kimberley

  3. Dear Anne,

    I just came across your story and blog – my sympathies for your experience which is pretty typical for the misogynists at NHS London. While training in O&G in north London hospitals I was so appalled by the poor care, hatred of women from the seniors and frank abortion culture that I not only resigned my specialist training but left medicine altogether. A hospital not far from Homerton did not want women post C-section seen more than once by a doctor post-operatively.

    Its not just about the midwives its the doctors who semi manage the rotas of junior doctors and overwork them so women like you did not have a friendly diligent face rounding the labour ward and not just responding to emergencies.

    If you care about women and families frankly Obstetrics and Gynaecology is hostile and I have never come across such a self-preserving group of people. Follow this misoprostol wickedness back to the consultants!

  4. Dear Anne

    I have just subscribed to your blog having read it all in a single evening. I started at the beginning and read the most up to date entry last. I was thrilled when I opened the page with the picture of your baby boy and only then understood that the little blond boy getting a kiss was your son.

    I’m studying obstetrics at the moment – something that has made me relive the experience of delivering my daughter twelve years ago. She is well but was acutely compromised in the last stages. I wasn’t aware at the time of the gravity of her situation. We were fortunate that it was well managed, but the outcome could so easily have been very different and it’s difficult to know. In trying to process what happened to my baby – and what nearly happened – I stumbled across your blog.

    Its contents are terrible – and wonderful. You write so beautifully and thoughtfully; it’s awful to think of your grief. Sofia was a beautiful baby and the photographs of her perfect little face are very moving. You are brave to share your experiences and may help other grieving parents because you articulate your feelings so well. I feel I have learned a lot from it about what life is like for a bereaved parent – thank you.

    You haven’t posted for a while so I hope this means that the blog did its work helping you heal; it’s a lovely tribute to your daughter and a mother’s love. I hope your son continues to bring you joy and wish you and your family happiness.

    Georgina x

    • Dear Georgina,

      Thank you for your lovely words, and sorry for taking so long to approve and respond to them. You were exactly right about the blog doing its job. I hope your studies are going (or went) well and I think you are/were studying where I was cared for wonderfully with Nicholas (UCL). Your compassion as well as your own history will serve you well when caring for others.

      Anne x

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