Tag Archives: miscarriage

Why can’t we talk about miscarriages?

https://embed.theguardian.com/embed/video/commentisfree/video/2016/dec/14/i-had-a-miscarriage-and-im-not-afraid-to-talk-about-it-video

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Biting the bullet

After 23 months of trying, three cycles of IUI and a miscarriage as a result of the third, we’re finally biting the bullet and having our initial IVF consultation tomorrow. Well, I say ‘we’, but it’s really been me putting it off, hoping month after month after month that we’d manage to get pregnant on our own.

Some of my friends have had trouble understanding my reluctance to start IVF, but I also think it’s very difficult from the outside to really understand the stress Roberto and I have coped with since Sofia died when we both tend to put on a happy face. The stress on our relationship has been enormous; when you’re both going through a trauma it’s so difficult to give the other person support while at the same time you’re struggling to stand on your own two feet. I always thought partners going through a tragedy together would have a much stronger relationship because of it, but that’s not necessarily the case.

So my main reluctance has had to do with the added strain going through IVF will have on both of us. Thankfully our relationship HAS strengthened over the past two years (and I wouldn’t have thought that was possible before) and we’ll take one small step at a time.